Helen was a valued member of the deafawareness:NE Team.

Helen sadly passed away at home on the 23rd of September 2024 with her husband Kevin and family members at her side. 

Helen would spend many happy times making craft items to sell on our charity's behalf and worked as a volunteer and paid craft organiser for this charity.

 

HELEN KERRIDGE - EULOGY

 

A CELEBRATION OF THE LIFE OF

HELEN KERRIDGE

(nee Nattress)

25TH FEBRUARY 1967 – 23RD SEPTEMBER 2024

WAS HELD ON

THURSDAY, 10TH OCTOBER 2024

AT

SALTWELL CREMATORIUM

GATESHEAD

SERVICE CONDUCTED BY

SUSAN RAMSEY

MUSIC

I HAVE A DREAM

ABBA

 

WELCOME

Good afternoon everyone, my name is Susan Ramsey and I am a funeral celebrant and on behalf of Helen’s family, I thank you all for coming along today to help us celebrate her life and to pay your last respects to her.

Where I said we are celebrating her life, you must be thinking how can we celebrate when we have lost someone so very special - and, you’d be right, but I'm going to ask you to try and pause from grieving for a little while and reflect on everything that you loved about Helen.

Her family would like to thank everyone for all of their kind words and support during their time of bereavement. And, to those of you who have come here today to pay your respects.

There's also an open invitation to be with the family after today's service at The Wardley Club where we will continue to celebrate Helen’s life.

Because that’s what Helen would want - Helen never complained about the cards she’d been dealt and she got on with her life.

And, if any of you would be so kind to make a donation, the family are collecting on behalf of Cancer Research UK and Deaf Awareness NE, you will find a collection box at the exit of the chapel as you leave, and a big thanks to those who have donated privately on line.

Helen is going to be memorable to everyone here in different ways, and no matter where you knew her from, there are no amount of words that could ever encompass wholly what she meant to you……

But, we are going to try!!

There are so many of you who have been kind enough to send memories of Helen, I thank you all for that and with the help of those shared memories from her family and friends, I’m going to tell you about times in her life……

 

TRIBUTE TO HELEN

Knowing how ill she was, Helen  wanted to write her own eulogy or ‘Urology as she called it! She would often get her words wrong due to the effect of the illness on her brain and it was often hilarious and Helen thought so too, always upbeat in the face of adversity. Sadly, she ran out of time before managing this task and so, her sister Shirley has bravely written what she believes Helen would have wanted to say today. 

Helen was born on the 25th February 1967, following the birth of her sister Shirley, their parents were Brenda and Sidney and they lived in Madeira Terrace, South Shields. Shirley reflects that she was the tidy one and Helen the messy one, Helen was not fussy like her sister about things in the right place or super tidy – she was much better at having fun and living her life to the full without worrying whether her stuff was tidy – it never was! This is not a fault, it was what made Helen focus outwardly on her friends and family and the things she enjoyed doing in her life.

Helen had many interests, but she especially loved horses and dinosaurs from a young age. Horses came first and dinosaurs came later , but it was dinosaurs that took over in the most marvellous way. Although dinosaurs were of huge interest to Helen, so were so many other things. Helen would take a proper interest in everyone and in everything they were doing. Helen, when younger was a member of South Shields Harriers and took part in 4 Great North runs. 

Her health problems began in her early thirties. Helen has endured many operations and her illnesses took away an awful lot from Helen. 

They took away her successful career as a researcher for the Northern Housing Consortium, they took away her good eyesight and all her hearing. They took away her ability to enjoy the simple things she used to enjoy but they never once took away her fantastic tenacious personality or her willingness to keep going. She worked valiantly at every job she got after losing her career and completely staggered everyone with her determination to do this under extreme bad health. 

She is therefore an inspiration and a good example of the benefit of having a stubborn nature.

She learnt to make cards and knit when she was in her forties or older. She was full of ideas to make things for charity and her favourite charity was Deaf Awareness Northeast, where she worked alongside her boss Derek, who recalls Helen bustling through the  door of his office with who knows how many bags attached to her, and hat, gloves and coat often too, having just taken a long bus journey where she would let him know how much time she had and how much work she wanted them to get through, which was always her direct way which Derek took some time to get used to over the years of knowing her. In the end, they would laugh about who was exactly in charge here! He will miss Helen’s lists of email questions, which occasionally bordered on demands and very often left him with a bemused smile at just how he was supposed to get through everything she was asking of him!

Helen would spend many happy times making craft items to sell on their behalf and worked as a volunteer and paid craft organiser for this charity.

 

HELEN AND KEVIN

Helen met Kevin at a football do in the Blue Bell, in Felling,  and Kevin was there as he played football in the local Sunday league. They got chatting and Kevin plucked up the courage to ask her out. Their first date was to the pictures where Kevin left it up to Helen to choose the film – she chose a romantic one, possibly not what Kevin would have chosen, but he went along with it and as the saying goes – their relationship went from there!

In his own words -Kevin told me that Helen was an extremely generous, caring and selfless person. She never talked about her illness, she always wanted to know how you were instead and how your life and you were doing. Helen had an infectious smile that was totally disarming and immediately put you at ease. She had a wonderful laugh and a superb sense of humour even when she was in pain. Helen was an immensely strong person, even though she thought she wasn’t. 

She was focused on working and her attitude was such that she worked long past the point she should have stopped. Illness to Helen was no barrier to work and she insisted right to the end that she would be returning to work as soon as possible.

Through three decades of pain, Helen was always immensely strong, fiercely independent, gentle an good humoured.

She will be fondly remembered and sorely missed by anyone who knew her.

Kevin and Helen enjoyed a wonderful wedding on the 30th July 2006 at South Shields Town Hall where Helen looked amazing, radiant and full of joy to be marrying Kevin. They then followed that service with a blessing at St Michael’s and All Angels Church before heading to the Sea Hotel for their day and night time reception. They have been married for eighteen years and enjoyed some wonderful and good times together before the onset of Helen’s illnesses. 

Kevin has been Helen’s rock and at her side throughout – he kept his wedding vows when he promised ‘through sickness and health, to be at her side and he has most definitely kept that promise.

    

Our time here today is to reflect on Helen, who she was as a woman and not on her health problems as I am sure you all know the long journey she and Kevin have endured. 

Shirley tells me that Kevin and Helen were a brilliant couple since they first met and Kevin took a great interest in her family and Helen also took a great interest in Kevin’s family and they all loved her for that. She was a generous soul, very thoughtful and almost too generous but that never did anyone any harm – according to Helen.      

 

REFLECTION

Helen is already a big miss, and I know it's difficult to accept that you've lost her and really, the one thing I can say is....that if you find yourself thinking about the grief of losing Helen.......then try and think about the joy of having known and loved her......

And, that's a joy of which we become especially aware of at this moment when we listen to some music......

During which, I would invite you  to just sit and have your own personal thoughts about Helen.

And, those of you with a faith might want to use this moment to say a prayer for her....

MUSIC

CALIFORNIA DREAMING

MAMAS AND PAPAS

 

CLOSING WORDS

I shall just share some of the wonderful memories that have been sent to the family about Helen

She was generous and kind to everyone, especially to her close family and friends but also to strangers and many charities. Helen always took the time to tell shop assistants or transport workers or service staff that they had done a great job if they had helped her.

Helen will be remembered for her cheerful and positive nature and her love of dinosaurs, her love of working and doing the right thing. Her generosity. Her love for her nieces and nephews and how she tried to help her parents even though they had to help her a lot. 

She had the gift of walking into a room and just lighting it up.

A memorable memory from Cat who wrote of the time that Helen came to visit one Christmas and she had just read an article ‘What you can tell about someone by the way they decorate their Christmas tree’ So, she said she would watch us decorate the tree, then tell us what it meant. So they deliberately made a song and dance of it and by the end, the tree was a complete mess of haphazardly thrown on tinsel and baubles. Then they sat down next to Helen,  thinking ‘She won’t know what to make of that! But Helen was totally unfazed and launched into a detailed analysis on the placement of each bauble!!

Helen’s smile was infectious and her friendship will aways be treasured.   

On the 23rd of September, time stopped for Helen – she passed away at home, just as she would have wanted with Kevin and family members at her side.

Helen’s niece Mia chose a sympathy card to give to Kevin and I shall share some of the wonderful memories that she wrote inside the card for Kevin –   

‘I have never known someone so driven and passionate to work and to be a part of society and also just to live. Anyone else would have given up after facing the same things that Helen did. I admire her bravery that she held – right until the end. I felt a maternal energy around Helen – like she was my second mam. I will miss her for the rest of my life.’

Kevin has requested the following reading for Helen’s service today

 

If I Should Go Tomorrow

If I should go tomorrow 
It would never be goodbye, 
For I have left my heart with you, 
So don’t you ever cry.

The love that’s deep within me, 
Shall reach you from the stars, 
You’ll feel it from the heavens, 
And it will heal the scars.

 

Kevin is grateful to all the district nurses and the Palliative Care team of Macmillan nurses for their compassion shown to Helen and himself when they visited Helen, thanks also to the staff of St Bede’s Hospice at Windy Nook where Helen was in their care for a week, grateful thanks to Kevin’s brother Vincent and his wife Christine, Helen’s Mother Brenda, Sister Shirley and Husband Steven, thanks to all friends, neighbours and work colleagues for their messages and cards. 

That brings us to the end of our service for Helen, I do hope it has given some of you comfort. No-one is going to pretend that the coming weeks and months are going to be easy as you will find yourself thinking of Helen and what she meant to you – I know by reading all of your wonderful memories that she was such a special woman and that she will never be forgotten.

So, thank you for being here for Helen in her final hour. The title of our final song, clearly says it all – as Helen was simply the best!!

 

MUSIC

SIMPLY THE BEST

TINA TURNER